5 Mistakes that Emotionally Weak People Do and How to Avoid Them

emotionally intelligent people

Emotional strength is an extremely big factor in whether or not we can get through life. Sure, life has a lot of ups and downs. But, emotionally intelligent people are the ones who can handle any situation on their way. It’s simply because they know how to manage emotions really well.

People with low emotional intelligence would often freak out at the smallest problem because they’re worried about the outcome. As they have a problem avoiding emotions when making a decision, they easily make irrational moves.

Just to make you well-informed, here are 5 mistakes that emotionally weak people do and how to avoid them.

5 Mistakes that Emotional People Do  
  • Make Decisions in the Heat of Emotion

Have you ever made a decision when you’re angry or sad? Maybe you’ve even probably made a decision when you were too happy as well? If you did, then the outcome most likely didn’t go the way you planned (unless you are very lucky). This is because listening to our gut usually blinds us from reality and logic.

This is in fact backed up by a study (youtube explanations) made by Jennifer Lerner. Lerner’s research heavily focuses on how emotions affect decision making, and it usually affects badly.

Solution: Whenever you feel a strong surge of emotions, let it die down first. After that, take into considerations all the factors that affect the outcome of your decision. One of the Things Emotionally Intelligent People Won’t Do is make a decision in the heat of emotions because they know it may blind them.

  • Don’t Adapt to Change

People with high emotional strength always watch out for change— and embrace it. In Charles Duhigg’s book, The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do In Life and Business tells us that our brains are usually conditioned to have a routine. Our brains do this because it is easier and more convenient. However, it may present a problem when change sets in. Since we follow a routine, our brains go into panic mode when there is a sudden change in plan.

Solution: Know that there is always a possibility for a plan not to go your way. Think of possible scenarios wherein your plan will go the other way and make backup plans. Also, learn to relax and prevent the circumstances from affecting you. 

  • Stop Learning

Emotionally intelligent people, who have high emotional strength, know that they don’t know everything. This is why they continue to seek new knowledge every day. Justin Kruger confirms this in his research on highly emotionally intelligent people. In his research, he notes that the less intelligent subjects overestimate their abilities. At the same time, highly intelligent individuals tend to know their capabilities and try to improve.  

Solution: Get used to the habit of admitting when you don’t know something. Also, learn to ask more about a subject matter. The key here is to always want to learn so that your mind will grow in capacity.

  • Don’t Motivate Themselves

In a study made by Mufazah Muhamad, he notes that self-motivation is a key factor in emotional intelligent people. Even more, it makes perfect sense. Those who know how to manage emotion know that only they can motivate themselves and not anything outside. This is actually very logical because you can’t count on anything other than yourself to push you to do something. That said, not emotionally intelligent people rely on outside factors for motivation. Such factors include friends, parents or romantic relationships.

Solution: Learn to affirm yourself and constantly push yourself. The more self-aware you are, the better you can motivate yourself.

  • Focus on the Problems Instead of Solutions

Atilgan Erozkan states in his research that problem-solving skills are directly related to emotional intelligence. A person who knows how to manage emotions knows his or her own strengths and limitations, as well as the outside factors that may affect the problem. People who control their emotions face their problems directly and rationally. In addition, they continue to seek a solution to the issue.

In contrast, people with low emotional intelligence focus on the problem and wait for a solution to happen. 

Solution: When the problem arises, take some time to relax and meditate. Once you’ve calmed down, jot down the problem and the possible solutions to it. After that, break down each possible solution and choose the most feasible.

Emotionally Intelligent People: A Conclusion

As you can see in what we’ve written above, emotionally intelligent people can actually get through life better. This is not because they are more capable or because they are smarter. It is simply because they know how to control themselves.

They know that they have strengths and weaknesses which they can capitalize on. They also know that emotions can be blinding. Because of this, they choose not to be blind, but to approach every situation in a more rational manner. Also, most emotionally intelligent people know that logic trumps the gut feel any day.

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